Archive for November, 2009
Is there ever a good time to break up?
Well, here we are in the beginning of the holiday season, and I wonder how many people are wanting to break up, but won’t due to the present or presents we may get. Why is it a package with a shiny bow on it can influence our direction in life?
I’m totally guilty of it, although as I age I wonder WTF am I doing?? There is the guilt that goes with it, I mean, how long do you have to date someone after they give you a big gift. Is there a time frame? Is it worth it? What happens if you wait it out and get a shitty gift? Did you just blow the whole season?
And when we look a little deeper into the subject, how about the people who plan trips in advance to hang on to someone. I had an old boyfriend that did that shit with me. He knew I wanted to be done with him, but he kept planning trips and knew that I wouldn’t break up with him because I felt obligated. So, I had to continue to date him until after the last trip was done. Now, I know I didn’t really have to date him, but I did feel that obligation that he spent a lot of money, so I went.
Back to presents. I love presents, I really do. It doesn’t matter if they are small or big, just the fact that someone thought of me is good. But, when do I cut and run?? The holidays are really stressful to some people and depression tends to run high. That’s one of the reasons I think people don’t want to break up. Does it make it easier if we wait until January?
Is there ever a good time? I don’t think so, otherwise we would call it something nicer than breaking up. I guess I’ve judged my timing by when it gets more painful to me than them, I know to call it quits. Until then, I seem to just hang in there hoping something will change. In my heart of hearts, I know what needs to happen, but I do think I’m the worst breaker upper in the history of the world. Okay, maybe not THE world, but certainly in my world.
Add comment November 28, 2009
What hurts more, change or complacency?
I’m trying to figure out the least painful way out of an ever-increasing painful situation. Is life truly like a band-aid where if we rip it off really fast, it will only hurt for a minute? Or, if we do nothing and ignore the signs, it will hurt longer, but not as much. When we see the signs that a relationship is dying, or dead or maybe limping really badly, why is it so hard to discuss it with the person that is involved?
Is seems that there is a huge white elephant in the room and no one wants to talk about it. Maybe the fear that the elephant will leave is so great that I figure if I put a lamp shade on it and pretend it’s a lamp, eventually, the light will go off in my head and I’ll have my answer.
Or maybe if I just keep ignoring it, it will turn back into the love that I had once? I don’t know, WTF man?? In my head, I’ve played out the conversations thousands of times over and every time the result is the same, but when I open my mouth, none of the words are there. What happens to your words between your stomach and your mouth? How do they keep getting swallowed instead of spit out?
I need to be a bulimic with my words and just purge them out, but for some stupid reason I can’t. I know it’s fear that holds my words, which is so strange because so many people find me fearless. When it comes to my business, I have no fears. I know what I’m supposed to do and when I’m supposed to do it and I’m very good at sharing those thoughts with everyone around me even to their dislike.
When it comes to men though, I’m scared shitless. Does it go back to losing my Dad? Is it just that the only thing I’ve failed at in life is my relationships and I’m sick of failing again? It sucks that the one thing I want most of all, is the one thing that always alludes me.
Please don’t give me the “when you’re least looking you’ll find it, or the stop trying so hard” shit. NOT interested in hearing it. I know that all ready, I’m just voicing my thoughts here people, not trying to get you to fix me. Sometimes, if we put it down in writing and make it public, it’s easier to handle. Funny how I can write my feelings, but I can’t voice them. I think I have feelings laryngitis. And yes, I just made that up because I wanted too.
1 comment November 6, 2009
Ummm, btw, women do not have a sex button.
Contrary to urban legend, women are not equipped with a button that automatically makes them horny and wanting sex. I’m not sure who perpetuated this myth, but let me tell ya guys, it’s just that a MYTH! A really good girlfriend and I were talking about this a while ago, and she was telling me her husband would basically poke her in the back, or nudge his penis against her ass and thought she would just jump right on him.
Guess what, didn’t happen that way! Nope, not even once! I’ve had that same thing happen to me, the guy puts a finger on my nipple for like two seconds and BAM, I’m supposed to be rarin to go!
So, let’s talk about this, has nobody ever told them that men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots?? It takes us some thought (on our part) and some effort (on yours) to get us going. And the supposed button on our shoulder? There is no such thing, and there isn’t a button on our asses either. Come on guys, we like sex as much as you and in some cases, a lot more than you do!
There is nothing wrong with my sex drive, I’m in my 40′s for God’s sake, I’m in my prime! Give me a little something to work with, kiss me (after you’ve brushed your teeth thank you), tell me sexy things, play with me, use your fingers, mouth and other things you may have! (don’t do anything scary though!)
You want some effort out of us, put some into us! (the pun was intended) Men complain that women don’t want sex, well guess what, we do want sex, but maybe some of us have gotten so fed up with you that we prefer to use our toys when you’re not around. Hmmmm, ever think that??
Please don’t think I’m being mean, but truly, if you want to have sex with the women lying next to you in bed, try thinking like us just a little bit. We want to be wanted, remember? Make us want you too! That’s a win/win for us both.
4 comments November 5, 2009
